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Manners don’t seem to get a lot of airtime these days. And it’s not surprising—many of the established rules of etiquette are over a hundred years old. But contrary to popular belief, manners aren’t about what fork to use with what place setting. Simply put, manners are about how we treat the people around us.
Today on the podcast, we talk with David Coggins about why manners are still very much relevant—and maybe even more critical in today’s day and age.
Manners are how you treat someone you might never see again.”
David Coggins
David Coggins is the author of Men and Manners and the NY Times best-seller Men and Style. He writes about tailoring, travel, art, manners and drinking for numerous publications, including Esquire, The Financial Times, The Wall Street Journal, Bloomberg Pursuits, and Mr. Porter. He writes regularly about fly fishing for The Robb Report and is a contributing editor at Condé Nast Traveler.
David and I talk about the misconceptions around manners, and we discuss pitfalls and best practices for situations like tipping, making plans, and dating. Plus, we talk about how technology is changing the game when it comes to the way we treat other people and behave in society, and much more…
Somehow we know the right thing to do. It’s just taking enough energy and asking enough of ourselves to do it.”
Episode Highlights
- The difference between private and public behavior
- Why tipping should NOT necessarily be a reflection of the level of service
- How to complain at a restaurant (without being a jerk)
- Why being “busy” is not an excuse when you’re making plans with friends
- Dating: why you should get offline as soon as possible
- How to keep chivalry alive in the 21st century
- Much of having good manners is simply paying attention to what makes other comfortable or uncomfortable
- The proper way to apologize
- How to stage a “manners intervention”
Resources Mentioned
- Men and Manners: Essays, Advice, and Considerations
- Men and Style: Essays, Interviews, and Considerations
- Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers
- The Royal Tenenbaums
- Lizzie Post: Etiquette in the 21st Century
