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Let’s be honest, marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. And even when a relationship starts out strong, over the long haul it’s easy to get mired in the day-to-day grind of life. If you don’t pay attention and constantly nourish that connection, you can start to drift apart from your spouse.
My guest today, Laura Heck, shares how you can recognize the problem areas in your marriage and reignite passion and healthy communication with your wife.
In this episode we talk about the silent killers of long-term relationships—essentially, the subtle signs things aren’t going well—and what you can do to fix them. We also discuss specific strategies for how to create more purpose and meaning in your marriage. Plus, we talk about how you can use roles, goals, symbols and rituals to help dramatically increase your connection with your wife.
There has to be a balance of individuality and togetherness.”
Laura Heck
Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Laura has trained, taught, and spoken in front of tens of thousands of couples all over the country about how to create a marriage that thrives instead of one that merely survives. She co-hosts the podcast Marriage Therapy Radio and co-developed Marriage in Motion, a video series for couples. Laura has been a featured relationship expert for Google Talks, the New York Times, Huffington Post, The Art of Charm Podcast and Martha Stewart Weddings, among many. When Laura is not working, she can be found in her lululemon, trail running with her weimaraner puppy, golfing with a double IPA in hand or glamping the National Parks of Utah. You can learn more about Laura by visiting her website www.laurahecktherapy.com or listen to her podcast Marriage Therapy Radio wherever podcasts are found.
I think a lot of people don’t have an ultimate vision of what they want their relationship to look like. We are so much more focused on where we want our career to go…but we have no idea or no long term vision of where we want to end up in our relationship.”
Episode Highlights
- The “silent killer” of relationships
- Understanding the 5 facets of intimacy
- How to create purpose and meaning in your relationship with your wife
- Using roles, goals, symbols and rituals to strengthen your marriage
- Ensuring that you and your partner are complementary to each other, not compatible
- Laura and her husband’s mantra: “Do epic shit”
- Establishing rituals of connection throughout the day
- The magic of the six-second kiss
- The fundamental differences between men and women in relationships
- The worst mistake men make in relationships
- How to bring an issue up in a gentle way
- Why learning to “fight fairly” is a sign of a successful relationship
- Small ways you can develop the habit of gratitude towards your partner
Resources Mentioned
- The Gottman Institute
- The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work
- Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast
- Core values worksheet
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
- Atomic Habits
Thankful very much! That’s again was a great podcast! Greetings from Brazil, sam
Thank you, Sam! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
I want to learn more about the 5 facets of intimacy. Is there a book, article, or study you can point me to?